July 30, 2015

The Truth Behind My Blogging Break

If you read my questionably dramatic comeback post earlier this week, you probably think that I took a short blogging break last month because I was too busy having my life fall perfectly into place to be online. And part of that is true: I was busy.

But I'm always busy. Everyone is busy. Even the Kardashians are busy being strangely unbusy.

The truth is that I took a month off because blogging wasn't a fun release from all the busy-ness like it should be. Instead, it was a stressful chore that I wanted to avoid, like cleaning my bathroom and thinking about retirement.

To be honest though, the only person I can blame for that is myself.

You see, sometimes I get sucked into the online world, where everyone’s baby comes with monthly update stickers, and every bathroom is not only cleaned but also expertly decorated. I start drowning in Pinterest perfection, and start thinking that I also need a baby with a “6 months today!” sticker on its forehead. Or a bathroom with vintage floating shelves and lavender scented candles. 

I forget that for every staged picture on Instagram, there’s a real person with a real, messy life behind it. Instead, I start feeling pressure to take pictures of the flower bouquets that are casually lying around my living room. Or I feel like I need to start writing helpful lists to tell readers how to lay those bouquets in such a way that comes off as genuine and also slightly funny.

I'm not saying that the problem was with the perfectly posed Instagram posts. Even if it is a bit unrealistic, there's nothing wrong with making something that lets people escape from reality for a bit. (I mean, their posts do make doctor office waiting rooms a lot more entertaining.)

And the problem wasn't even that I didn't have bouquets lying around my living room. Or that sometimes, I'm just not helpful or funny. Actually, I can be quite moody. Sometimes I’m sad. And sometimes, I am just pissed off.

(And then there are the times that I’m hungry, which is sort of like all three of those things plus a ravaged polar bear.)

No, the problem was that I was becoming just another human who started pressuring herself to meet the internet's unrealistic standards. We all do it, even the humans who seem to be setting the unrealistic standards. But needless to say, it’s not relaxing, especially when you’ve already got a lot of other not-relaxing things going on.

The point of this post is just to remind you to cut yourself some slack. With blogging, with your career, with your bathroom, with life. Don’t stop working hard but if you are working hard, that’s all you can expect from yourself. Because even though it seems like you’ll never catch up to those bloggers who are having their lives fall perfectly into place while they take a short blogging break, it’s never really the case. There’s always a back story, and those back stories can get pretty damn messy.

But if you do find that one blogger out there who genuinely does have bouquets of tulips lying around her living room floor… well, I wouldn’t trust her anyway.