February 27, 2015

I Have Failed



February 26, 2015

This Is in Lieu of a Controversial Facebook Status about Vaccines

February 25, 2015

The Most Embarrassing Thing That's Ever Happened to Me


Warning: This post may not be appropriate for children or anyone planning on eating in the next 30 minutes.

February 23, 2015

Six Reasons to Smile on a Fat Day

February 20, 2015

Do You Know What Your Blog Readers Think of You?

Disclaimer: I have not been compensated for this post at all. However, per usual, feel free to send me money, baked goods, or anything remotely pleasing for my troubles.

February 19, 2015

Ten Signs of Someone Who Is Truly Happy

Like most people, I've had times in my life when I've felt truly fulfilled and other times when I've, well, been caught in DC rush hour traffic. Because (despite what Elite Daily tells you) life isn't always going to be 100% satisfying 100% of the time.

I think an important part of adulting is realizing that for everyone other than the red Teletubby, it's part of life to have times when you're feeling bored, confused, or just plain sad.

The other just as important part is the ability to know when your boredom, confusion, and sadness is just a phase you need to work through, and when it means that you need to make some serious life changes. (Because the truth is that if you change jobs, get a divorce, and/or fly to the Greek islands every time you are feeling unhappy, you're eventually going to run out of careers, divorce attorney funds, and frequent flier miles.)

Sometimes you've just gotta feel the unhappiness. (Some might even say it's good to do so.) In fact, I strongly advocate the occasional sad.

On the other hand, no one wants to feel unhappy all the time; the goal is obviously to limit the unhappy times as much as possible.

Which is exactly why I've taken a page out of Elite Daily's book, and decided today to post the top ten indicators that you might just be truly happy. Because if you can't trust Elite Daily... well, who in the world can you trust?


February 17, 2015

The Kinda-Budget: A Budget for People Who Don't Want to Budget


So if I didn't lose my blogging license when I admitted that I don't like yoga, this will definitely seal the deal: I don't have an actual budget.

Now, I'm not "Real Housewives" absurd with my money or anything. I pay off my credit card in full and I have a predetermined amount of money automatically withdrawn and placed in my savings account every month. But other than that?

I mostly buy what I need, sometimes what I want, and don't think a lot about it.

So when I looked at my credit card bill this weekend and thought, "This seems like a lot for someone who spends most of her time at work. I should stop that," that's about as much as I could do. Because frankly, I had no idea where my money was going so I had no idea how I could stop.

Now, I wanted to just pay my bill and forget about it but I know that it is my responsibility as a blogger to self-analyze and report on as many aspects of my life as possible. Which is what led me to spend an hour Monday afternoon breaking down my last credit card statement and another 20 minutes making this somewhat unnecessary chart:

February 16, 2015

Why I Own a Stun Gun

February 13, 2015

2015 Holiday Power Rankings


February 12, 2015

The Incredible Anti-Calorizing Macaroon
(and a Workout)

At the end of my post yesterday, I said that today might be the day that I post a recipe for an anti-calorizing macaroon. And when you read that, I'm betting you probably thought it was just me being a wiseass, as I so often am.

But it turns out, there was no wiseassery going on at all.

Yes, today is the day I revolutionize healthy living blogging with the incredible anti-calorizing macaroon:


February 11, 2015

A Graphic Explanation of My Blog

February 10, 2015

Eleven Things I'll Never Be


February 09, 2015

Six Somewhat Snarky, Mostly Realistic Valentine's Day Cards

February 06, 2015

Seven Good Reasons to Laugh
(and One Thing That'll Make You Do It)

February 05, 2015

If You Could Be God, Would You?

February 04, 2015

Two Rules: No Moping and No Waterboarding

Based on everything I've heard about coping with death, the only thing that really helps is time.

Now, I'm not here to dismiss Chicken Soup for the Soul wisdom but as far as I can tell, time isn't helping; every day since Pop died has been harder than the last because every day, it becomes more real that he is actually gone. Every day I come closer to wrapping my head around what that actually means.

The thing is though that the last thing that Pop would have advised me to do about it is mope around the internet. You see, Pop had been fighting leukemia for the last 20 years of his life and late stage colon cancer for at least the last 6 months but somehow, the only person who never seemed to mope about that fact was Pop.

Sure, sometimes he'd say it "really sucks" to be tired all the time, but he never felt sorry for himself or expressed any bitterness. Instead, even through the last week of his life, Pop approached everything with a sense of humor.

For example, one of the last memories I have of Pop is from the week before he died when I came to visit. He was so sick that he wasn't able to get out of bed, couldn't eat, could barely drink, and could only talk for short amounts of time.

As I was sitting there, my grandmother came in to try getting Pop to drink something. She had a bottle of water with a straw and was pushing it into his face.

It was clearly hard for Pop to take each sip but after every one, my grandmother would insist, "One more, just one more." Finally, Pop got so fed up that he, in the loudest voice I'd heard all afternoon, declared, "No more. This is waterboarding."

It was silent for a second, and then we couldn't help but bust out laughing.

I love that memory because it was just such a Pop thing to say. He could have said so many different things: "No more, it hurt too much." (Which I'm sure it did.) "No more, I'm too tired." (Which I'm sure he was.) "No more, this isn't fair." (Which it definitely wasn't.)

But no, Pop went with waterboarding. Because no matter what life hands you, you always have the choice to keep your humor.

I'm new to this whole loss of a loved one thing but I do know that it would be foolish of me to say that now, a week later, I'm ready to go back to my normal blogging self.  Pop's death is still so unbelievable to me that I'm not even sure I've really started grieving yet. I don't know how long, but I'm assuming I will be sad for quite a while.

But that doesn't mean my blog has to be.

So this is officially me jumping back on that temperamental blogging horse. I can't promise I'm going to be completely mope free for a while, but I am going to promise that I won't keep dwelling on my sadness here.

Because depressing blog posts aren't waterboarding by any means, but that still doesn't mean anyone deserves them.

February 02, 2015

Goodbye Is Such a Painful Word