December 31, 2014

14 Things 2014 Taught Me

So, 2015, huh? I feel like I need a break before the New Year to recoup from the last one.

But if 2014 has taught me anything, it's that we don't get a break just because ask for one. (Or negotiate with God for one by offering your first child and at least two non-thumb fingers as compensation.)

And I guess while we're at it, why not discuss a few other things that 2014 taught me? I mean, year review posts are kind of like blogger law, at least according to Taylor.

Sometimes, you can't control a situation, no matter how well you planned or how much you prepared.

Sometimes, you can't change a person's mind, no matter how much you cry and plead and beg and argue and yell and offer up your non-thumb fingers.

If it sounds like there's a rat in your kitchen pantry, it's probably not a kitten. It's probably just a rat.

If it sounds like there's a ghoul in your 100-year-old building's radiator, it's also probably not a kitten. It's probably the echo of Satan's laughter as he watches you kick your relentlessly clanging radiator at 2 AM.

It's possible to gain weight while training for a marathon. At least if you really put your brunch into it.

Chicago is mother effing cold.

Starting a new blog does NOT turn you into a new person. You'll be the same blogger, just with a lot less readers.

Those LivingSocial "Escape" deals aren't a scam. They actually will take you to Portugal and bring you back alive.

The most underrated piece of moving advice is simple: Don't forget the shower curtain.

"Becoming a real adult" is subjective. And by subjective, I mean impossible.

Don't underestimate your past. Just because you think you're over it doesn't mean you are.

Invite guests to surprise events wisely. And if you're invited to one, for the love of God don't be the one to spill the beans unless you're prepared to face 20-something angry Slovaks. (Which no one is.)

When times get rough, there's always mom.

I'm going to be honest: I still haven't decided if 2014 was the best or the worst year for me yet. But either way, it taught me a lot. Plus, I made it out alive and with all ten fingers.

So you know what? Bring it on, 2015!