November 14, 2014

I am flawed.

I mentioned earlier this week that I recently got glasses. And as it turns out, my eyes are not the only part of me with some issues.

Yes, it turns out that I suffer from a pretty severe case of unevenness. Whether it's my ears or my nose, I'm not quite sure, but one of the two is arranged so that I have become very familiar with the left top frame of my glasses which infuriatingly refuses to stay out of sight.

But whereas I could have tried writing off the glasses as a cute and subtly trendy quirk, the same cannot be done with an uneven head. No, sadly, my head is just a flawed head.

Sadly, I am flawed.

So while I'm sulking over that fact, I thought it'd be a good time to just reflect on a few of my many flaws. Because who doesn't like a good pity party, right?

1. I have less than perfect vision and a noticeably crooked head.

2. I have no idea how to drink only one glass of wine. 

3. I don't pay attention to details. I've trained myself well enough that I've somehow got everyone at work convinced I'm "detail-oriented," but in my natural state? I'm the type of person who, when going to say, a new eye doctor, looks at a map and thinks, "Oh, I know that street. I'll just find it when I get there."

There's never a plot twist. I never "just find it" when I get there.

4. I am a horrible person when I'm hungry. Seriously, like stealing lollipops and iPhones from babies horrible.

5. I sometimes post vaguely relevant song lyrics on Facebook. Am I going through some sort of profound emotional turmoil or am I just really into Coldplay? You'll never know.

6. I like plans. Like, really like 'em. I don't like when things don't go according to them, either.

7. I hate small talk. Sometimes I'm good at pretending otherwise. Sometimes, I'm not. When I'm hungry, it's a perfect curmudgeon-inducing storm.

8. I'm not good at "acquaintances." From a networking perspective, I get that being friendly with people is important. You know, that "let's talk about baseball but then let's stop because you're not really that interesting" type of friendship. And I can fake it... but really, with relationships, I'm naturally either all or nothing.

9. I am indecisive. And when I make a decision, I like it to be one I can easily change.

10. I list my flaws on my very public blog. Because what could possibly go wrong, right?