November 03, 2014

Forgive Me for Being Blunt

Over a bowl of chili this weekend, my mom brought up something I had mentioned last week on my blog. My dad, unfortunately, had no idea what she was talking about.

So naturally I asked him if he ever reads my blog. To which he replied no, he usually just looks at the pictures.

When I asked him why, he answered (without missing a beat), "Well it's supposed to be an elevator pitch but sometimes they just sort of... go on and on."

Which was a shockingly blunt reply. (But really not so shocking considering that it was coming from a man who had told me twenty minutes earlier that my attempt at a sock bun looked like "another head on your head.")

What was even more shocking, however, was how much I appreciated the honesty.

Now, I understand that complete candor is not always the best policy. (For example, I think even my dad would advise against tells your boss that her bun looks like a second head.) But in a lot of cases, wouldn't life be easier if people just said what they thought instead of playing the "subtle hint" game? Sure, maybe some feelings would get hurt but a lot less people would be walking around with spinach in their teeth, too.

So today I'm going to do just that. To be blunt, I think it's time.

To be blunt... I like how my sock buns looks, even if they are a bit second-head-like.

To be blunt... I also only look at the pictures/skim most things online. Because, to be blunt, most things online aren't Shakespeare.

That being said, to be blunt... I think Shakespeare is overrated, as are many of the "great literary geniuses." I understand their historical significance but The Great Gatsby, The Grapes of Wrath, and Frankenstein... all very "meh."

To be blunt... the same goes for the Beatles.

To be blunt... while judging people is wrong, I just sort of judge you if all you eat is coconut oil, almond butter, and quinoa.

To be blunt... it's really hard to be dateless at your best friend's wedding. Because as happy as you are for her, there's also a point when you wonder why that isn't you. (That point hovers right around glass of wine no. 3.)

To be blunt... I don't care about Renee Zellweger's face, old or new.

To be blunt... it took me 24 years to learn that 99.9% of the time, you're not going to change someone's opinion on something, especially religion or politics, and it's usually better not to try.

To be blunt... you should never ignore your gut, but if everyone in your life is telling you the same thing... maybe they have a point.

To be blunt... of course I check my blog stats and would jump at an opportunity to make this blog my living. Because, well... c'mon.

To be blunt... I could continue this list for another 52 bullet points but I'm going to stop. Because this is an elevator pitch, right Dad?