November 25, 2014

15 Awesome Things Only 90's Kids Will Know

15 awesome things only 90's kids will know | Just the Elevator Pitch

Breaking perhaps the first seven of the Ten Blogging Commandments, I didn't take a single picture during our Friendsgiving this weekend. Not of the mini garlic monkey bread, not of the lasagna cupcakes, hell, not even of the mulled wine.

Part of the reason for my sub-par blogger performance was the fact that there were lasagna cupcakes. I mean, who takes pictures when you could be eating lasagna cupcakes?

My other excuse is that I was completely distracted by what is now my new favorite iPhone app/game: Head's Up.

The rules are simple: your party breaks up into two teams that alternate taking turns. When it's your team's turn, you put the phone up to your forehead so everyone can see what the phone says except you. Then, it's like reverse-charades mixed with 20 questions mixed with a lot of yelling: everyone on your team tries to give you clues to help you guess what's on your head.

It's timed and when the buzzer buzzes, whichever team guessed the most "things" wins.

Now, depending on which category you pick, the "things" can vary from extremely easy ("dog") to downright impossible ("Roger Moore's left earlobe"). The fun part is that there are a ton of categories (like "animals" or "famous 80's actors' obscure anatomy parts").

But by far, our group's favorite category was The 90's. Because what 90's kid doesn't love talking about the 90's, after all?

So I thought that today, to make up for the fact that I brought up lasagna cupcakes without letting you see their cheesy goodness, I would do the next best thing: I will take you down memory road (as I was Saturday night) and remind you of a few 90's things that kids today just will never experience.

1. Kenan & Kel
Imitated nowadays but never, ever duplicated. Who the heck are Austin & Ally anyway?

2. Pogs
I knew vaguely that this was a game but I didn't care; I just wanted to be the Pog envy of my 3rd grade class. And let me tell you, Pog life was a rough one. The black market was unforgiving and for some reason, the local liquor store always had the best stash. But like any serious Pogger, I'd do unspeakable things for a holographic.

3. Pokemon
Just like Pogs, I knew this was a game but I didn't care; I was just in it for the high of the chase. And I'll tell ya, that damn Charizard eluded me for years.

4. Sky Dancers
An awesome toy with the added benefit of being a fairly effective weapon.

5. Furby
My mom initially wouldn't let us get these and now I understand why: looking back, I feel like their creepy little eyes were the gateway to the spiritual underworld. Like a Ouiji board that's always telling you it's hungry.

6. N64 Mario Kart
I'll be honest though; Rainbow Road was a b*tch.

7. Pajama Sam
And the best part about this game was that it was on CD so I could play it even WHILE my mom was talking on the phone.


8. *Nsync and Old School Britney Spears
I take great pride in the fact that I can still sing every word to Dirty Pop and Lucky. Seriously, try me.

9. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen
I'm talking like before they wore pillow cases. Their "Two of a Kind" books... classic literature.

10. Slap Bracelets
It's so hard to put on jewelry with any sort of efficiency these days.

11. Nickelodeon Happy Hour
With an 8 o'clock bed time, I spent many a happy hour with Tommy Pickles at 7 and Doug Funny at 7:30. Those guys were a hoot.

12. Saying, "Why don't you marry it?"
Not much more you can say after someone dealt this blow.

13. Paper Fortune Tellers
Honestly the best five days of my elementary school career until our teacher banned them from recess.


14. AIM
Chatting was nice but everyone knew the real game lie in perfecting your profile. (I usually went for a subtle TLC lyric and a few shout outs to my "lylas bff"s.) That, and finding a kick ass buddy icon.

15. Beanie Babies
Of course you can't talk about the 90's without mentioning the icon of the decade. And I was extra careful to keep the Ty tags in mint condition. Does anyone know when I'll be getting my payout for that, by the way?