October 30, 2014

Things like This Should Never Happen

For the most part, I think France has generally done a great job. I mean, they seemed pretty solid during the whole American Revolution debacle. Plus, crepes, fromage, and baguettes... all great things. And the Eiffel Tower isn't half bad, either.

But you know what? There is no number of crepes, Nutella-filled or otherwise, that could make up for this. To give you a brief synopsis of the article, teenagers dressed as clowns are terrorizing France with pistols, knives, and baseball bats.

According to the article, "Real clowns are dismayed by the trend."

Although I appreciate real clowns making a statement on the matter, I do have to say that I disagree with their reaction. Because the appropriate reaction to evil clowns terrorizing your country is not dismay; it is absolute frenzied hysteria and panic.

In my opinion, clowns are one of those things that probably shouldn't exist. Sort of like the "play next episode" feature in Netflix: they serve a purpose in theory, but in reality undermine everything we've worked for as a society.

But genuinely evil clown? That is something that should just never happen. Evidently it has happened, but it never should have.

There's really not much more to be said about this so instead I'm going to write down 20 other things that should have never happened and which presumably are also causing dismay throughout the real clown community.

2. Sporks. Inefficiently both a spoon and a fork at the same time.
3. Pretty much anything that has come out of Kanye West's mouth
5. 95% of the things Facebook has alerted me about this month
6. The Lion King 2 
7. Anything that happened in college after vodka
8. The Apple watch
9. The majority of what's purchased at Target
10. The majority of what one sees on public transportation
11. The events directly following the statement "let's go to McDonald's"
12. Any time I've ever said, "One more can't hurt."
13. The state of my hair any time I've pressed the snooze button more than twice
14. The time I decided to run a marathon in new shoes
15. Surge
16. The ending of Gone Girl
17. Any time I've opened #whatshouldwecallme when I have literally anything to do
18. This includes times when I'm trying to finish a blog post
19. Any time I've committed myself to 20 things right before bed