October 07, 2014

Children "Not Impressed" with Michelle's Obama's Stance on Nacho Cheese

ARLINGTON, VA - Just when suburbia America thought they had seen it all from the Obamas, outrage tears through parts of the nation once again as children are deprived of their basic constitutional right to nacho cheese.

"My kids are still reeling from the shock of President Obama's tan suit debacle last August," said Mrs. Smith after learning that local public schools are serving un-cheesed pretzels in their cafeterias. "This is certainly not the 'Change' we voted for."

Mrs. Smith has been her community's go-to voice for citizen rights ever since her notable role in a messy 2011 incident involving unhonored Target bath towel coupons.

America has been giving Michelle Obama the collective side eye ever since she initiated her campaign to fight childhood obesity and promote healthy living four years ago. Since the Lets Move! campaign was first announced in 2010, many have suspected the First Lady of ulterior motives.

"I personally thought she was after the McNuggets," said Mrs. Dunkin, mother of Jelly, age 9. "I had no idea that she'd take it this far."

Although recently the nation's focus has been on the First Lady's husband as he is faced with potential global pandemics, international terror groups, and the future of the nation's immigration policy, now all eyes are on Michelle as these startling allegations begin to surface.

Words like "rabbit food" and "cherry tomatoes" in connection with Michelle's program have had many wondering if Barack hasn't just been using recent international crises as a ruse to cover Michelle's questionable activity.

"If Mrs. Obama thinks she can de-cheese our children's soft pretzels without a fight, she has another thing coming," Mrs. Smith told reporters. "This is America. We have rights."

No word yet on how Jonathan Swift feels Michelle's meal plan will affect the preparation of impoverished Irish children.