September 19, 2014

What Type of Person Are You?

I am this type of person.
On the way home from work yesterday, I overheard an extremely shocking conversation.

You see, I was casually eavesdropping on two girls around my age when unexpectedly (and quite pleasantly) their conversation turned to brunch. The first girl was (understandably) still coming down from the high of last weekend's mid-morning meal, where she was witness to what I can only imagine was a religious experience: Penny Mimosas.

But that wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was what came after the play-by-play of her adult OJ, when the first girl asked the second, "Are you a brunch person?"

Now, I would have never thought to ask someone else this question because, well, I had no idea that being a brunch person was a choice... let alone that someone might choose not to be one.

So imagine my shock (and frankly, my horror) when the second girl said no, she was not actually a brunch person.

It was reminiscent of the day I learned that Santa was a cruel hoax; I could feel outrage and slight disbelief bubbling inside me. I mean, who's in charge here? How is this allowed to be happening?

Obviously, the conversation became much less appealing after that, so I stopped listening. But I didn't stop thinking about it. However, instead of stewing over the audacity that this second girl had to dishonor the name of brunch, my mind started to wander to something even more interesting: unlike me, this girl was an anti-brunch (and presumably an anti-puppy, anti-laughter, anti-joy) person. If I'm not that type of person, which type am I?

I spent the next 20 minutes considering the question... and this is what I decided:

I am an emphatic, borderline manic brunch person.

I am a cat person. Dogs bug me, always demanding your attention and affection. Cats, on the other hand, spend most of the time taking care of themselves... but they'll still sit on your head if you're really sad.

I am a book person. The only reason I pay for Comcast cable is the charming customer support staff.

I am a mind-over-heart person. And honestly, I'm often jealous of the other type. It would be nice to be able to make life-changing decisions without analyzing how those decisions will affect my future children's health insurance.

I am a salad person. And I believe 100% that hamburger people are usually more fun. But I am what I am, so I might as well own in.

I am a Twitter person. I'm convinced Pinterest is just a scheme devised by mother-in-laws set on making us all feel inadequate.

I am an anti-selfie person. Unless you're taking one with A Great Big World, you can be sure that I am judging you for your selfie.

I am a private person. Which made blogging the totally logical hobby for me.

I am a schedule person. Although I have become much more go-with-the-flow over the years, too much flow sends me into a panic.

I am an open-minded person. I truly will give almost any idea consideration. That doesn't mean I won't end up considering that the idea is completely stupid, but at least it had a chance.

I am a tea in the morning person. Night people, you have my respect, but I refuse to believe there is any time of the day more perfect than the sunrise.

I am a messy person. Folding laundry is just a fun exercise in adulthood that really has no bearing on the actual state of my dresser drawers.

I am a wine person. I pretend to be a beer person when I'm pretending to be a hamburger person, but I'm wishing the entire time it was a glass of Moscato.

I am a mountain person. The beach is just so sandy and shit.

I am a passionate person. When I'm in, I'm all in. There is no in between.


Oh yeah, did I mention I'm also a corny person?
Tell me: what type of person are you?