September 26, 2014

How to Deal with Panic-Inducing Work Stress (without Calling Mom)


I'm just going to say this: I'm stressed about work.

Now, as someone who has publicly admitted to ruining surprise bridal showers, I am obviously by no means an expert on taboo. However, even I know that you don't blog about work. You just don't.

So, instead, I've got a hypothetical here about a friend. Actually, scratch that; I don't even know this person. This is a hypothetical situation about a hypothetical person who has no relation whatsoever to me or my job. We will call him Samuel.

This hypothetical story begins on a hypothetical Wednesday afternoon. Samuel is slightly concerned about the two projects he has due on Monday, but not panicked; these projects should only take another five hours max to finish. According to his calculations, this leaves him more than enough time to get them done. 

Unfortunately, Samuel did not factor into his calculations his boss calling him right before he left Wednesday to ask him to do another project before Monday. Specifically, another project that, according to Samuel's hypothetical boss, should take "oh, around 20 hours" to complete.

Now, Samuel is no expert in math (just like he is no expert in things like taboo), but he knew enough to know that 25 hours spread over two typical work days does not add up pleasantly for Samuel.

And so our poor Samuel became stressed.

Now, what do you think Samuel should do about this stress? If you're like me, your first instinct would be to tell Samuel to panic, and then call his mom. Or do both simultaneously.

But actually, that is not the answer. Because hypothetical boss did not factor "panic time" into his assessment, and everyone knows that worrying mom multiplies the world's collective stress tenfold.

No, calling mom in a sheer panic is not actually the answer. What is? Well, there's a number of things Samuel could do to manage work stress. Below, I have outlined ten of my favorites.

1. Watch an episode of House of Cards. Because compared to Frank Underwood, your work stress does not exist.

2. Remember that you are not speaking at the UN this week. Same work stress as Frank, only about real life things.

3. Dance to a good playlist. May I suggest my favorite playlist as of late: Stolen Dance by Milky Chance, repeated 23 times. (See my sidebar for more details.)

4. Practice yoga. And by yoga, I mean eat a lot of chocolate.

5. Count things. Hours left in the day, stress pimples on one's chin, tears in your spaghettiOs... get creative!

6. Take a quick glance through your "For the Home" Pinterest board. The stress will surely overwhelm any work related panic.

7. Read a thesaurus. Because it's much more fun to "fret" than it is to stress.

8. Read a cookbook. Who could be stressed while looking at quiche?

9. Read the label on a can of soup. Anything. But. Work.

10. Write a post for your blog. Because, I mean, what else have you got to do?

Happy Friday, people. God knows Samuel could use one.


PS - When you're done stressing, you really should remember to call Mom.