August 27, 2014

Happy Holidays, from My Hashtag to Yours

Sometimes when I get lonely, I remember that I took this picture.

At my last blog quality control meeting, someone brought to my attention that I had posted two pictures of my dog in a row. And, sure enough, upon reviewing my notes after the meeting, I realized that this was indeed the case. I also realized I should probably stop talking to myself.

At first, I considered pulling the second picture down and replacing it with something less canine. But before I could do so, I scrolled through my Instagram feed to learn that yesterday was in fact National Dog Day. And gosh darn it, is there anything better than unintentionally extreme relevance?

So the picture stayed. But it got me wondering: who actually decided it was National Dog Day? Is there even such a thing, or was some silly bastard just stirring up trouble? (Probably the same silly bastard who said Beyonce and Jay-Z are breaking up. A-hole.)

I wondered about this briefly, but before I could turn my wondering into a Google search, my mind was already on to bigger and better plans: mainly lunch, but also the idea that maybe I could be the silly bastard who sets the social media world on fire with imaginary holidays and corresponding hashtags. I mean, doesn't Pinterest tell us to reach for the stars?

So all during my turkey sandwich, I dreamed. And I concluded that whichever silly bastard thought of National Dog Day actually isn't really even all that impressive... because I thought of several way more amusing holidays. For example:

National Snooze Button Day
National Bacon Day
National Everyone On Public Transportation Wears Deodorant Day
National No Clowns Day
National Relevant Facebook Alerts Day
National Everyone in America Walks on the Right Side of the Sidewalk Day
National Rant on Facebook Day (HAH, jk, we have that one.)
National Netflix Day
National Punctual Subway Day
National No Social Media Engagements Day
National No Pigeon Day
National Bloody Mary with a Piece of Pizza on Top for Everyone Day

Now, I realize that several of these could result in inconveniently long hashtags, especially for those Tweeters among us. But if this little exercise has taught me anything, I know that the sky is the limit when it comes to make-believe holidays; who said that we can't abbreviate our hashtags? I mean, How I Met Your Mother fans do it all the time.

So that being said, I want to wish you all a pleasant #NBMWAPOPOTFE Day. Who's with me?!