July 28, 2014

Day 57: Ten Types of Twenty-Somethings Everyone Knows

Farragut Square on a Tuesday at lunch time.  The young professionals grow here like weeds, fertilized with food truck tacos.
When it comes to nonsense, my grandfather just hasn't got time for it.

My grandpa ("Pop" to anyone who knows him) doesn't do "sugar coating;" he doesn't have patience for laziness and his BS detector is fully charged.  Basically, Pop doesn't mess around with weenies.

So imagine how alarming it was this weekend when he told me that it's time I had some fun.  To let loose, have a few drinks, maybe even make some questionable decisions.

You might be thinking my alarm was just anxiety that Pop's BS detector was running out of juice, that in his old age he was losing his edge.  But that wasn't it at all.

What I was thinking was, "Oh God, I'm that girl."  You know exactly what type of girl I'm talking about: that twenty something with the McGonagall-strength bun, career driven, penny pinching, got-her-shiz-together, no time for drinks or babies, 24 going on 55, Hillary Clinton in the making.  The one with the agenda, and fun't not on it.

Now, I knew I would never be the spontaneous, carpe diem type girl.  I just don't have a #YOLO in me.  But I also never thought I was that type of twenty something.

The lucky thing is, if I don't want to be that type of young adult, I don't have to be.  I can really be any type I want... I mean, America, right?  But obviously, before I choose the type I do want to be, I have to take inventory on the types that are available.  So without further ado, here is a list of the ten types of twenty-somethings everyone knows.

1.  The previously mentioned Hillary-in-training.  She'll pencil you in.
2.  The aspiring Hillary-in-training.  Whether she actually is as important as she makes you think she is, however, is still up for discussion.
3.  The guy who didn't actually want to leave college.  He has a job now, but part-times as "Office Happy Hour Coordinator."
4.  The guy who just didn't actually leave college.  You're pretty sure he has some type school-affiliated job now; he has to be funding those weekly kegs somehow.
5.  The guy who just didn't bother with college at all.  The extent of his graduating is from house parties to your hometown sports bars.
6.  The guy whose life is a standard country song.  He has an awesome beard, and his flat top guitar's had his back in a million bars.
7.  The guy who deserves to give a TED talk.  He didn't go to school because he was too busy starting the next big thing.  His TED talk would go viral, but he's too busy kicking ass to give it.
8.  The girl who just sort of skipped her twenties.  You're trying to remember to water your plants, and she has a five year old.
9.  The girl who didn't actually want to leave college, but not for the beer.  Knowing someone who grew up to be a grad school TA is always sort of a funny feeling, like getting the chance to peek back into the McDonald's kitchen.
10. The one with the blog.  She hasn't figured out which type she wants to be yet, but God knows she'll let you know when she does.