July 11, 2014

Day 40: Twenty Things That Are the Worst

Whole Foods, the mecca of Earth friendly dish soap and organic kelp
Sometimes, like when I'm caught in a flash downpour while walking home with my dry cleaning, I think to myself, "Man, this is the worst."

(Okay, that sentence actually has a few more... meaningful... words thrown in but hey guys, my mom reads this.)

But last night, as I was in that very situation, I had one of those "life is good" epiphanies.  You know, the kind the annoyingly optimistic people get when they decide they're going to start eating carbs again or something.

I thought to myself, "Actually, this is not the worst."  Years of experience (and by experience, I mean water damaged phones) had taught me to always carry an umbrella, and my dry cleaning was in a plastic bag anyway.

Yes, this was definitely on the "burnt toast" side of the "things I like" scale, but it certainly wasn't the worst.  But I'll tell you twenty things that are:

1. Buying almost all your groceries at Whole Foods.  Where even the dish soap is organic.
2. The damning moment you start feeling a pimple before you can see it
3. Writing an awesome blog post, but no one comments.  C'mon guys, that was funny!
4. Comcast
5. When your waitress forgot you said no mayo.  And up comes the age old question: what tastes worse on grilled chicken, mayonnaise or angry chef-spit?
6. Trying to straighten your hair in Florida
7. Smudging your nail polish before it dries.  Is it impossible to remove polish from just one nail, or is it just me?
8. Conservative talk show radio
9. The smell of airplane food.  Satan's air freshener scent of choice.
10. Getting halfway through a list before your computer reboots so Windows can "reconfigure."

I know that's only ten...  Blame it on Microsoft.


Linking up with Sarah and Whitney.