July 04, 2014

Day 33: Venus Trapped in an Elevator

As I mentioned, I am in Florida this weekend.  I really wanted to blog, but the sunscreen was making my fingers too slippery to type.  So instead, I invited a local celebrity over to my place to hang out for the day.

If you've spent any time at all on the internet, you might recognize Sarah as being the voice behind Venus Trapped in Mars, the blog that all the other blogs look up to.

That being said, I'll let the pro take it away.
Hullo friends of Nicole! I'm Sarah and I like playing the "ask me anything" game! And yes, to answer your question, I always say hullo like that, I think it gives it a little something extra, don't you think? And yes, to answer your other question, I recently had a Bloody Mary that looked like this. 

I know, #blessed. So today, like I mentioned, we are going to play the ask me anything game! The ask me anything questions will come from none other than my Google Search Terms! If you are not familiar with what that is, those are the little words people typed into the google search bar, and some how found my blog, Venus Trapped in Mars.

Not sure how these people manage to formulate such IMPORTANT life questions, but I'm impressed. Far be it from me to not answer each and every question that leads new fans to my little humble abode in blog land. Let's get started.

You would need the following 5 things to survive in Venus:
{Venus being me. Me being Venus}
1. The ability to put things together. I'm not stupid, I can put the Ikea table together, I'm just too lazy and would prefer you did that, thanks. 
2. Dallas Cowboys Season Tickets Because, America. 
3. Humor. I'm hilarious, we all know that. You need to be able to compete with me. If I'm funnier than you are, I'll just end up laughing at all my own jokes and that is awkward. 
*disclaimer* even if you are funny enough I'll still laugh at my own jokes
4. Celebrity connections. How else do you expect me to become a big shot? Hang out with normal people? Please. Hook it up. 
5. Platinum status at all Harrah's Casinos. Free buffets and the penthouse suite while I lose hundreds of your dollars on the slots. #boom. Good times to be had by all. 
Well, let's put together a checklist for this question. 
1. Did you make it to work without spilling Starbucks all over yourself? yes or no
2. Did you wet the bed last night? yes or no
3. Did you smell good enough to not have to shower this morning? yes or no
4. Are you hungover? yes or no
5. Is it a day not called Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday? yes or no
6. Does your iphone have greater than 39% battery left? yes or no
7. Are you currently following Nicole's blog and/or my blog? yes or no
8. Are you currently in rehab? yes or no
If you answered YES to at least 7 of the 8 questions, then yes, you are having a good day. 
Don't pick up ANY coins that are tails up. Penny, dime, quarter... doesn't matter. If tails, don't touch it.
Don't swing at the first pitch. I don't care if it is right down the middle, don't swing. Just don't. 
Dribble, Dribble, Dribble, Flip the basketball around once, then shoot the free-throw.
All stuffed animals must have a friend. No stuffed animal may sit alone. If you see a stuffed animal in a store, sitting alone, without the presence of another stuffed animal, you MUST purchase said stuffed animal and give him/her a good home. No exceptions. * Stupid velveteen rabbit*
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians, still called beef?
The Kid From Louisville, Kevin Ware, that had a bone sticking out of his leg
Turtles in a sprinting contest
Cookie Monster in Rehab
Lisa Loeb
The Iron formally known from Monopoly
All members of the Oakland Raiders
Android and/or PC Users
Wile E. Coyote. Poor kid. He'll never catch that road runner.

So do you feel less intelligent after reading this post? Because that was the goal. 
Shout Out to Captain Google for giving me such great questions to work with!
Come follow me on Insta, I'm really cool on Insta. And by me, I mean my dogs are.