June 16, 2014

Day 15: And what is that?


This picture of me as a baby doesn't need much explanation; I am clearly skeptical at best about the goings-on. My face pretty obviously says, "And what is that?  I did not sign off on this."

Unlike the rabbit slippers though, I didn't grow out of that expression.  Quite the opposite, actually; I'd say I've perfected it.  And as Derrick told me, it's a lot more frightening on non-baby Nicole.

But it really is a handy look to have and I'd recommend everyone have something like it in their facial expression repertoire.  Because how many times in everyday life are you confronted with a situation and all you can think is, "And what is that?"

Maybe it's just me, but I can think of several just from this weekend alone.  For example:

Friday night, I walked to the subway platform after work to find a near riotous crowd peeved about the "significant delays."  Luckily, I didn't have any plans (I knew the "no friends" thing would pay off eventually), but it was still pretty infuriating to watch train after train arrive jammed so full that no one at our stop could get on.  (Although, I imagine it was more infuriating to the people presumably with friends and Friday night plans, who kept repeatedly bouncing full speed off the wall of human beings every time they tried forcing themselves on).  Finally, 45 minutes later, I found myself on a train, nestled comfortably in the arm pit of a man who couldn't find his deodorant that morning.  What is that?

Saturday morning, I ran in the Lawyers Have Heart 10K with some people from my firm.  After I finished the 6.2 mile race, I was pretty pumped; my time was nothing to scrapbook about, but it was a lot better than I was expecting.  I was so pumped, in fact, that I pumped myself right into a pretty aggressive cool-down... to feel my previously-snapped hamstring re-pull itself.  What is that?

Sunday night, I pulled into my apartment parking garage after returning from a weekend at home celebrating all the dads.  I drive a Mustang, whose hood is quite long and not particularly designed for sharp left turns into parking spaces, especially those with a black SUV on one side and a cement pillar on the other.  I was so worried about the SUV that I didn't notice my left side wedging itself against the pillar.  I got out to find an unfortunately noticeable dent on my driver side door, right under the paint that had been painted on the cement pillar minutes earlier.

People my age are having children and I am running into stationary blocks of cement.  What is that?

And now, I'm sitting at the Whole Foods "pub," trying to ignore the short man in the Argentinian jersey bopping his World Cup-watching friends on the head every time Argentina does, well, anything.  I just came here for a nice, quiet spot of kale while I do a little blogging, yet I've found the first group of men who gather at the local grocery store to watch sports.

And really, what is that?

"This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty."
- Mitch Hedberg