June 02, 2014

Day 1: My Life Wrapped in Bubble Wrap

I have two suggestions for you if you're planning on moving any time soon: 1. If you can afford them, hire movers to pack your stuff.  2.  If you can't afford them, become friendly with someone who can.

Maybe you like doing things the old-fashioned way, the way of our forefathers.  You can bet no one on the Mayflower hired anyone to bubble wrap their salted beef.  I mean, what happened to the American dream?

But maybe there's a reason half the Mayflower colonists died that first winter.  It could have been the scurvy, or it could have been their do-it-themselves packing.

I know what you're thinking: unless professional movers sprinkle in some magic while they box, bag, and tape, there's no way they could have saved half a ship of English Puritans.  But what I'm telling you is that movers do have bags full of magic, right there in their U-Hauls next to the masking tape.

For example, have you ever tried to maneuver a twin sized box spring through a 90 degree angle of a narrow basement stairwell?  My dad and I have.  You see, my new job paid for movers to move my stuff from Chicago to my parents' in Baltimore, but from Baltimore to my new apartment in Arlington, VA, was up to us.

My dad and I are no dummies either.  He's a computer scientist and I'm, like, really good at long division.  But that plastic wrapped box spring, it nearly defeated us.  Neither of us had seen how the movers got the thing in to the basement, and neither of us could figure out how we were going to get it out.

My dad suggested trying a different angle.  I suggested sending Dumbledore an owl.

Eventually, we figured it out, without so much as a phone call from Albus.  But I'm telling you now: there's something in the Movers' Handbook that is as close as humans will get to wizardry.  I'm not telling you to sell your first born so you can afford them, but I'm not telling you not to, either.

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." 
— Albert Einstein